On Being Happy – Balancing Emotions

I haven’t written an ‘On Being Happy’ post for a while now, and after the past few months I’ve had I think I really really need one.

I started this series because of a few comments from friends about how I’m the ‘happy’ one, or the one who ‘never gets sad’. Don’t get me wrong, it’s lovely to be that for my friends, that I can be the positive one they can turn to, but being happy all of the time, at least for me, is an impossibility. Life throws you curve balls, and sometimes there is nothing better than just having a bit of a cry to let it all out.

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Sometimes, and it may surprise some people, I’m sad. At least twice a month, on bad moments it can be once or twice a week. Anything from small ‘sigh’ moments, like a rude customer, to full blown crying fits. It’s so hard in those moments to stop, to just flick a switch and boom, you’re happy again, chin up chuck, etc. It’s one of the reasons I started this series, so I could look back on the things that do make me happy. I like being known as a happy person – my Grandma used to call me ‘sunshine girl’, and every day I think of that and tell myself that that is who I want to be.

Yet, balance is important. Sooner or later, if you’re forcing yourself to not deal with all your other very important emotions, you’ll burst. You need all of the emotions to function, even the ones that suck – in this case, I like to think of the Disney film Inside Out because it really goes into how everyone needs their emotions to work in harmony. Again, and I’ll say this several times in this post so brace yourself, it’s about that balance.

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Letting out emotions is good, or at least that’s what I tell myself. It’s so when I look in a mirror and notice all my podgy bits look slightly more prominent or I have a few extra spots of my hair is a mess or I think I’m ugly or a failure or just not a good enough human being, I can either choose to shrug it off or sit down and have a bit of a cry. I can go to my ‘safe areas’, like home with my family and dog, or tucked up in bed with a good book and chocolate, and by the next day I feel better. I can talk to a few close friends and family, let it all hang out and let them be the ones to help me through it – which varies from hugs and deep conversations to rolling eyes and calling me an idiot.

Still, I think it’s important to acknowledge that although everyone aspires to be happy, we need to appreciate the simple fact that that’s just not possible all of the time. Everyone has moments of sadness, dejection, depression, and so on, some far more than others, so longing for constant happiness will just be a let down. It’s like having a dream to one day suddenly sprout wings after drinking redbull or to be the one to discover a unicorn – face it, it’s just not going to happen.

So while I love writing about all of the things that make me happy in an effort to make other people happy, I feel that it’s important to make clear that whilst that’s all well and good, you need balance to get through this maze we call life. Or something profound like that. Hell, just look up ‘inspiring quotes’ on google and have a field day. Whatever makes you happy – and, well, that’s the point I guess.

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