Challenge: Write a Buzzfeed styled article

10 Ways to tell if you’re a Londoner at heart

London is usually seen as a cultural hub of multicultural wonder with the beautiful Royal family and famous landmarks like the London Eye, Big Ben and The Shard. However, what about the people who are in London all throughout the year and, even better, are you like a Londoner at heart?

  1. You’re usually in a rush.

It’s no secret that within big cities you’ll have people speed-walking down the road, but nothing compares to a Londoner who has someplace to be. They’ll zip by you so quickly that you won’t have realised their passing had it not been for them shoving you out the way. They’re not afraid of traffic and will step into roads when no green man is showing without blinking. Londoners are fearless and, if you’re in their way during rush hour, they’ll run you down.

  1. You usually have an umbrella close to hand.

Preparation is key for London living, but the number one item on all checklists should be an umbrella. It doesn’t matter if the sky is blue and the sun is out; it’s England. All Londoners know that rain can start pouring down at any moment, and they’re going to be the ones who’ll remain dry.

  1. You don’t like making eye contact.

Whether it’s on the pavement or on the tube, you do not, under any circumstances, make eye contact. You don’t know exactly what will happen, but it could be anything from having an awkward moment to being beaten up. Don’t make eye contact. It’s not worth the risk.

  1. You get annoyed at tourists.

Tourists have their advantages: they bring in money to the economy and are a source of entertainment when watching them stare blankly at the tube map. However, there is nothing worse than a tourist who doesn’t understand how London works. You do not stop in the middle of the pavement as you will be shoved aside and yes, look, it’s the London Eye which we Londoners see every day and really don’t care about. What we do care about is you blocking the pavement. Move.

  1. You don’t really care about events like royal weddings unless you have a day off.

Queen’s birthday, how nice – do I get a day off? Royal wedding, wonderful – bank holiday? No? Don’t care then.

  1. Nothing compares to the joy when you get a tube going the quiet way during rush hour

Nothing is better than looking at the miserable faces staring back at you from the other side of the platform as they cram into an already full train, squashing some poor idiot into the door whilst you step hazard-free onto a nearly empty train. Oh, look at all the seats to pick from. I could go there, or there, or maybe just lounge across them all. Other people’s misery is your entertainment.

  1. You always always stand on the right.

you're the worst shit in the seven kingdoms

Those who stand on the left are evil incarnate and must be eliminated. We have nightmares about mistakenly standing on the wrong side and essentially signing up for hell. Just…don’t do it, ok?

  1. You’ve perfected the art of sighing very loudly to demonstrate you’re irritation

24 Disney Comebacks For Every Occasion

Some of the more outgoing Londoners feel free to express themselves very loudly, often using their skills in sarcasm, but the majority prefer the subtlety that sighing involves. There are even a few Londoners who dare to ‘tut’ at people, usually when they stand on the left or are in your way.

  1. You’re very good at talking what annoys you. For example: public transport, weather, and tourists.

(See article for example).

  1. You secretly love Boris Johnson.

Come on, he’s like a little blonde private school boy who has been let loose in London who just happens to be the Mayor. We love you, Boris.

Also, let’s not forget the fact that those not from London tend to miss when we’re making a joke. Honestly, staying in a residence with international students is difficult sometimes.

24 Disney Comebacks For Every Occasion