You’ve got to love the family

It was actually in one of my classes today when I was telling an anecdote that I thought I should talk about my family on here. I’m one of those lucky buggers who actually has a pretty great family. It’s also a pretty big one seeing as half of them are Dutch and, yes, that is my excuse for not knowing the names of all the cousins I have that just keep popping up out of nowhere. The family I live with and the ones that live in England are the ones I’m going to mention today, but I’m sure the Dutchies will have their spotlight soon.

(This picture appeared when I typed ‘half dutch half english’ into Google, so enjoy.)

I live with my parents and a pretty fantastically trained golden retriever, if I may say so myself (the countless weeks of puppy and dog training do pay off), and there is also an older brother that occasionally comes home for some free food and the washing machine (sometimes known as ‘Mum’). Now I probably can’t say much about my parents as they are avid supporters of my writing (HI MUM AND DAD!) but what I can say is that my Mum is Superwoman in the cooking department as well as the Queen of ‘sarcastic, witty conversation’ and my Dad is a whiz with anything and everything DIY, even when he shouldn’t really attempt to fix some things himself (an incident when he almost cut through a live wire comes to mind) and he also is still working on the ‘th’ sound. As most of my friends come from ‘broken homes’ – which is a pretty silly term in my mind because in most cases they really don’t need fixing – I am really lucky to have my family. I’m also lucky in the fact that I’ve grown up seeing my English grandparents almost every week.


(My dog, Pete, looking pretty classy)

Ah, my grandparents – now christened as ‘Grams and Grumps’. I could honestly write a whole book about them, and I’m still tempted to, but I think they wouldn’t appreciate it as much. Memories of being terrified of my Grandma when I was little because she claimed to be the Wicked Witch of the West and her walking stick was actually her broomstick ensured that I was always on my best behaviour. Compared to most, my Grams is pretty ‘hip’ with technology and currently owns a mobile, a Kindle, a Laptop, and an iPad mini. She occasionally remembers how to text and has just mastered the art of taking photos with her phone, but her answer machine message is still, ‘how do I turn this off?’. Her Laptop is to play Solitaire, possibly to check some emails, and her iPad mini is to play Solitaire also. She has a Facebook and is on it most days, though she is still working on her comprehension of private messaging. Overall, I’m pretty impressed by her technology understanding and it is far superior to my Grandpa, who usually forgets (how to) turn on his phone. My Grams is also a pretty fantastic cook and when I was younger she would always bake me an apple crumble when I was ill, which was the perfect tradition. There was one time when she decided to experiment, substituting the crumble topping with cornflakes and oats, but since then we’ve just had the original masterpiece. My Grandpa – aka Grumps – deserves his own book. I couldn’t imagine a character like him and even though we tease him mercilessly (actually, everyone in the family gets teased/taunted/bullied – with love, of course), I do love him to bits. He comes up with the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard and is, by far, the most stubborn man I’ve ever met. To give you an idea, when I told him that I was going to see the film ‘Warm Bodies’ (the Romeo&Juliet film, but with zombies) with my Aunt and Uncle, he asked, ‘Ahh, is that an erotic film?’.

Completely typical. He is completely harmless and means no offence to anyone, but he can also be incredibly – unintentionally – rude. At one point, by brother was friends with a perfectly nice girl called Dershni (please excuse my spelling) and my Grandpa would always say, ‘Gershwin?’ whenever he brought her up in conversation. Honestly, I have thousands of anecdotes that I could tell you right now, but I don’t think I could write them all out without getting a phone call from good ol’ Gramps with a disgruntled tone. The same tone I think he adopted when my brother announced that he was an Atheist, running an Atheist society at his University.

Anyway, that’s just a small insight to my family – so keep an eye out in the future for the book I will publish about them all but will find some way so that they never find out or read it.



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